You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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