just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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