We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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