North Korea, Best Korea!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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