Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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