Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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