lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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