420 ftw
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
