let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
