we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
and she was petting her beer can
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
