The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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