I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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