Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
