U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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