Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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