Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
