I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
