We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
