fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
