As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
