There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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