Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
