Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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