Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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