As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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