and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
