yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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