youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
