im about as happy as oj after his trial
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
