just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
organizing the empties. That sober.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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