Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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