Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
