This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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