the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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