I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
