She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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