Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
