I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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