Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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