just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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