It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
