people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize