I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
