I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
