The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
