Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
