mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Congratulations! We have a period
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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