she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
