how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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