if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
