Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
