Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
