Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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