rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
