walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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