I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
