i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
