Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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