He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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