I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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