i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
