how can u be prego again
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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