cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
